Zelma’s Trip

On the Saturday I headed back over the river.  This time I wasn’t the only Westerner.  There was a sweet American girl called Nora who was working in India and an American guy called Dan.  I, perhaps somewhat unfairly, named Dan, “Dan, ADHD American man” in my head.  I’m sure he was lovely but Oh my God the guy didn’t pause for breath for the entire journey.  I could even hear him over my Ipod when it was at full volume.

We eventually arrived at the crossing to the four-thousand islands.  The area is at the Southern end of Laos at a point where the river Mekong splits into hundreds of tributaries, hence creating a plethora of islands which give the place its name.  I shared a small boat with Dan and Nora and was not mortally upset when it transpired that Dan was going to a different island to us.  Although it did cross my mind as to whether I would still be able ot hear his booming voice bouncing across the water.  Okay, I’m going to shut up about it now I feel a bit guilty.  I think I may have been in a bit of a tired and tetchy mood.

The two main islands at the far South are called Don Det and Don Khon, Nora and I stayed on the latter.  Having eaten lunch we went to find a guesthouse which proved slightly more problematic than I was expecting.  Apparently several coachloads of local students had arrived the previous day and everywhere was full.  We managed to find one room with a double bed and I later bumped into a couple who were staying at the same guesthouse as me in Champasak who recommended somewhere at the end of the strip.  The place turned out to be beautiful, right on the river with a large terrace.  The only thing about it that was a tad strange was that the proprietor was a full blown alcoholic and lounged around all day drinking Lao Lao and Beer Lao while his obscenely pregnant wife did absolutely everything.  It’s not that unusual for women in Laos to do the lion’s share of the work (well that’s how it seems) but it was a bit harsh when she was so clearly about to pop and her other half was sat there downing shots.

In the evening Nora came over to my guesthouse and we ate (although I was already having guilt pangs about ordering anything from the very pregnant wife).  I had fish in ginger and it was delicious.  In the islands there is only power between around 6 and 10pm so we had a relatively early night.  The electricity thing didn’t bother me until I noticed that I was sharing a bathroom with a collection of leeches.  From this point whenever I used the bathroom in the dark I got back into bed convinced that I had a leech attached to my buttocks.  Needless to say I didn’t!

The following day I hired a bike from the guesthouse.  The other bikes had been hired out and the drunken proprietor (who apparently you had to call Papa) spent about 10 minutes pumping one of the tyres up.  I really should have noticed this as a bad sign but in my defense I was so amazed to actually see him using his arms to do something other than move a drink towards his lips I wasn’t really focusing on why a tyre would need pumping up for so long.  It soon transpired (right after I had paid for the toll on the bridge) that the tyre was as flat as a pancake.  I hissed, swore and cursed Papa and then saw one of the American girls in a cafe so joined her for a drink.  Nora then arrived (having already circumnavigated the entire area by bike) and walked me and my sorry excuse for a bike back to my guesthouse.  When I got back to the guesthouse, did a sad look and gestured towards the tyre Papa errupted in fits of giggles and found the entire thing hilarious.  Much to my amusement, no honestly!  He did offer me another bike though.  Nora and I then cycled to dolphin beach which was beautiful.  It was strange that the town ended so quickly and it was then completely empty countryside, other than the occasional pig or water buffalo.  You also occasionally bumped into the elephant bus.  I probably need to explain that don’t I?  It wasn’t a bus for elephants but a bus that looked like an elephant to take tourists to the waterfall/ beach etc.  Think of the crappy buses and trains they have at zoos and you won’t be far off.  Other than the extreme weirdness of it being in a place like this.

In the evening I joined Nora in “town”and we had dinner.  I had fish steamed in a banana leaf with coconut.  It took them an eon to cook but it was soooooo worth the wait.  I walked back to my guesthouse in the pitch black and then had more leech concerns!