Sunday 15th June. Krabi to Hat Yai
I checked out and had some breakfast prior to asking at the tour desk about going South to extend my visa. As I was having serious issues with the thought of leaving the country I changed my flights so that I had a couple of extra weeks. Flying out on the 30th meant that I needed to extend my visa. When I was talking to the guy at the tour desk he infomed me that his colleague was getting a local van taxi to the bus station and that I could go with her. I sat and talked to him and flicked through a Thai magazine called ‘Gossip’ akin to ‘Heat’ magazine back home. He was telling me who all the people were i.e. "She famous actress in Thailand, he is famous D.J." etc. Then I asked about one woman and he said, "She likes to make breasts bigger". I must say I was glad to see that the whole Jordan and Pamela Anderson pointless celebrity thing spreads as far as Thailand!
When we got to the bus station a bus was literally leaving and the woman from the guesthouse told me that this was the correct bus for Hat Yai so we got on it as it left.
It’s official I -hate- bus journeys. Now, when I asked how long it took to get to Hat Yai I was told two hours. The woman from the guesthouse informed me that she was getting off at Trang which was about an hour from Krabi and half way. She did get off after about an hour and then about an hour later we got to Trang! I don’t know what it is with Thais and times and distances. Maybe there’s something lost in translation or maybe they care less about such things, I don’t know. What I do know is that you are invariably told that a journey is longer or shorter than it is. It’s much like in Vietnam when every motorbike taxi guy, when asked how far any distance is, will tell you that it is two kilometres. At least with one standard reply you quickly get to know that this is, to put it politely, nonsense. One common thing here in Thailand when bartering a price on a journey is that you are told that the journey takes longer than it actually does. When you then appear at the final destination in a fraction of the time quoted and you dare to ask them about this they reply with answers such as, "The traffic was very good today, yes?". Actually why do they do that? I mean, you ask a question which you want an answer for and actually, don’t really know the traffic all that well in some remote town in the Gulf of Thailand and, infact if you did know the traffic situation in the town in question you wouldn’t have agreed the price in the first place and wouldn’t be asking the question. Okay this is getting somewhat circular now but perhaps you can guage the level of frustration here!
These kind of misinterpretations are perhaps understandable but I have no idea why I was told that the bus journey was significantly shorter than it was or who would gain from giving me such misinformtation. What this actually had the effect of doing was giving me greater sadistic urges than normal on bus journeys.
I had to sit right at the back as all the other seats were taken. As I have previously learnt on bus journeys you should not sit at the back, nor anywhere beyond about the halfway point. The reason for this is that from this point backwards you are behind the toilet and the whole journey will thus inevitably stink of poo! Added to the poo issues there was the obligatory Thai karaoke and the bass speakers were positioned thoughtfully behind the back seats. For about ten seconds it made me reminisce about driving my car at home with the vibrations pumping through the seat. There are however three notable differences with these two scenarios. The first is that in my car I drive above twenty kilometres an hour and don’t stop every ten seconds to pick up yet more passengers. The second is that I can turn the volume up and, more importantly, down on my stereo. And the third and arguably most important difference is that my car does not reek of poo! Needless to say my moment of reflection didn’t last too long and I sat wondering how to distract myself. I tried to listen to my Ipod but couldn’t actually hear it, even on full volume, as the Thai karaoke was that God damn loud. At about the half-way point we stopped for a break. When we got back on the bus there was more space so I moved further forwards. There was one notable omission when I got back on the bus which -really- confused me. There was no toilet!?!?!?!?!
When I arrived in Hat Yai I checked into a large, seedy monstrosity called King Hotel. Hang on does anyone want to spell out the libel laws here? Hmmm, I’m sure they don’t apply to little old me. Most guesthouses and hotels I have stayed at previously have lists of rules including one which invariably states in polite terms that you are not to bring prostitues back to the hotel and indeed your room. One of my favourite ways this was put was, "No unintentional tourists allowed". This immediately brought thoughts to my head such as:
"Oh my God, I was only trying to get to work in Bethnal Green and somehow I’ve unintentionally ended up in a hotel room in Bangkok."
I mean that really would be unfortunate, No? Anyway, unlike the other places I have stayed at there were no such rules in place and they seemed to want to activiely encourage such behaviour. The staff made a point of letting me know that I was very welcome to bring, "friends" to my room. The porter also helpfully informed me that they did massages in the rooms and that he would offer this service for free as I was a "special guest". The room itself was okay if somewhat shabby. I had previously been informed at the reception desk, by a very proud member of staff, that, "All rooms are fully carpeted". I must say, even at the time this fact wasn’t drawing me in and it excited me even less when I actually saw the carpet! There was also a nice notice on the door which read, "Please keep door locked and chained at all times. Lovely!
My guidebook had stated the following of Hat Yai:
"Hat Yai, the transport axis of the region, is a concrete mess but attracts a million toursits a year, nearly all of them Malaysians who nip across the boder – just 50km away – to shop and get laid.
After such a lovely description I wasn’t expecting much which was fortunate as I didn’t get it. I soon learned that the desciption was very apt and, although I wasn’t interested in the latter, the place was a shopping heaven!