Zelma’s Trip

Just before I do some hideous injustice at summarising my first three months or so I guess I should explain that by the general term of South East Asia I am referring to Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore. I am also not professing to be talking about the entire countries and histories here, just that which I have experienced. Okay enough of that preamble now.

Transport

Driving and Roads.

As you may have gathered the roads in South-East Asia aren’t the same as in England. There generally appear to be no obvious rules except one, the largest vehicle has right of way.

Scooters and motorbikes….

….are everywhere! I got close to hiring one on more than one occasion and each time was saved from doing so by seeing either an accident or someone who had been in one. You see so many Westerners with either exhaust burn scars or more serious ones and nearly every Westerner can tell you either a horror story about an incident they have had or a friend has had or seen. Other than the horrific accident with two fatalities on the way back from Halong Bay I also saw two locals writhing around in pain next to the road having clearly just come off their motorbikes in Ko Samui. I think that my conclusion that my life and skin are precious was a good one which prompted the decision -not- to hire a scooter. Having said that I did go on the back of enough of them. When I got on the back of the guy’s scooter who showed me round Phuket I told him I was a nervous passenger and he said he had never had an accident. Later on one of the beaches I noticed he had a fair few scars. As I pointed at each and asked how he got it he said, "motorbike….". I commented that he had previously told me that he had never had a motorbike accident and he said, "Well if I said I had lots of accidents you wouldn’t have got on my bike." Well he had a point!

Cars

Generally if you have a car in South East Asia it will be brand spanking new. You will either drive it like you own the road as, after all you should do, having spent ten times the national average wage on it. Or, you will drive at about two miles an hour as you have no concept of how big your car is and besides you couldn’t possibly risk scratching it having paid ten times the national average wage for it. If you decide that actually driving your car is not a good idea you could always buy a particularly large truck-type model and keep it parked in your drive. This works particularly well in small villages such as those around Patthalung. You will find that such a vehicle has a large battery which affords you the luxury of having a stereo which you can have on at full volume for the whole night. The vehicle also serves as a nice bedroom for the kids with added luxuries unavailable in your house such as air conditioning.

Buses

If you have read any of my blog you should know by now that I am not the greatest fan of the above. I should not, therefore, need to mention the poo smell, the crazily loud Thai karaoke or the spilling of soup! Other than the aforementioned and other perils, buses are actually a very cheap and largely safe way to travel in South East Asia so unfortunately cannot be avoided. Generally I found local buses to be a lot less painful. Alternatively if you have the option of a tuk-tuk, strangthaew or more seriously local means of transport go for it.

Trains

Every train I have got has been an experience and generally a good one. There is more space than buses and you can generally wander around more. Something I found very odd at first was the fact that trains are generally the same speed and often slower than buses in South East Asia. Having said that they are definitely my preferred method of travel. Unfortunately the whole running on rails thing means they have slightly more limited route options. They are also more expensive.

Planes

I wasn’t actually planning on domestic flights prior to leaving the U.K. thinking that my planned (and paid for) flights would suffice. However after situations like getting stuck in Luang Phabang I ended up getting them. That was a case, as later in Ko Samui, when I had to decided whether the time spent travelling was worth more to me than the cost of the air fare…or vice versa. With the flights being so cheap I decided that flying was the way forwards. I only have twelve months after all so time is precious! Seriously though, I have an agenda you know, besides visas, follow on flights etc wait for no man…..are you convinced yet? the flights I have got have been fine. Granted the Laos airlines flight was turbulent but what can you expect in a plane that small?

People

I have generally found people to be very friendly everywhere I have been in South East Asia.

Vietnam

If people tell you that locals in Vietnam are not friendly (as far too many will judging by a lot of travellers I have met) they are lying. Either that or they have been arrogant and/or only travelled to very limited areas. There is some "hassling" to buy things in some of the bigger, more touristy places but I never found this to be overly aggressive. I mentioned previously that men perhaps encounter more aggressive forms of persuasion than women but I have not witnessed this. As I stayed with a male friend in Hanoi I was shocked to hear such accounts from others as he, nor any of his friends, had such stories to tell. Furthermore off the beaten track locals in Vietnam are amazingly friendly and will try to feed and accommodate you. They are also very inquisitive (maybe wondering why on Earth you wanted to go to such a place) and hover around you curiously to the extent of them taking photographs.

Laos

People in Laos are lovely with a capital L. Wherever you go people say, "Sabadee" (Hello in Lao) and children in particular are generally very pleased of your prescence. This seems to extend from larger towns to smaller villages off the beaten track. Although this was less evident in Vientiane, the capital.

Cambodia

Other than the people who tried to snatch my bag on the motorbike and the people who "lost" my laundry, people in Cambodia were also very friendly. In fact they were all very keen to warn you of the perils of the less friendly people in Cambodian society. Although this is not sounding too positive, people in Cambodia were generally very welcoming. And remember, if you have money, you’ll be fine. As one wise woman told me, there are no rich people in Cambodian prisons.

Thailand

Billed as the country of "a thousand smiles" you would expect a warm welcome in Thailand and you generally get it. There are signs though that there is some resentment towards Westerners creeping in. This was noticeable in places such as Ko Phagnan where shop owners followed you round and when I asked one how much something was she said, "ten baht" and then under her breath, "stupid". Okay, before you say this was just me, Julian got the same reaction. Although he -does- look dodgy! Generally though I found the Thais to be very friendly and in fact many were too friendly!

Singapore

Everyone is polite and welcoming. In fact there’s a law about it…..probably! Everyone also likes to tell you how great Singapore is, how safe, clean etc.

Food

On the whole, food in South East Asia can be described as cheap, tasty and varied. In Vietnam I fell in love with the pancakes in Hue, seafood soups and fruit everything. The cakes were also exceptionally good, especially when accompanied with cocktails. Laos, despite not having a coastline had exceptionally good sea (or maybe river) food. The local salads were also very good but I had to do pre-ambles about spice levels. Again Laos fruitshakes and juices rocked.

Unfortunately I didn’t manage to eat much Cambodian food due to feeling decidedly dodgy. What I did eat was very good though. The street stalls were great and a lot of other people highly rated the food. As you would expect the curries in Thailand were excellent. Actually the food full-stop was. I particularly liked the McDonald’s and Burger King. I’m joking of course. Well, actually I’m not. I mean double filet of fish, I so need to get writing those feedback and suggestions slips back in England.

Singapore was great for food with a real mixture of cultures and whatever you wanted on offer. Surprisingly given the price of everything else in Singapore it was also surprisingly easy to eat cheaply. I was pleasantly surprised by Malaysian food and had some great meals which was a cacophony of flavours from different areas.

Drink

If you do one thing in South East Asia it has to be drink fruit juices and shakes and lots of them. Initially I was loving lemon juice which later morphed into watermelon juices and shakes. The mixed shakes are gorgeous and all of the above use fresh fruit and are cheap as chips.  One drink which was surprisingly good (as it looked like swamp water) was a lemon and mint shake which I discovered in Vang Viang.

In terms of beer in Vietnam I mostly drank 333, beer Laos (in Laos strangely enough) was a good tipple.  I didn’t really like Angkor beer in Cambodia but I was an ill puppy so that may have had something to do with it.  Similarly I didn’t particularly like Chang beer in Thailand.  A lot of Westerners tell funny jokes about it being terrible the day after with inevitable punchlines about "Changovers".  A lot of locals in Thailand drink Singha which, in my mind, is a good alternative.  You can also largely buy beer Laos in Thailand (demonstrating its merit) and Tiger beer, which is good, is largely available.

Despite the above beer critique, well you’ve got to try it, I haven’t really been drinking much beer, which brings me onto my next topic.

Cocktails in South-East Asia are strong as I’ve mentioned previously.  Unlike in England where you need a scientific instrument to find any alcohol content, in South-East Asia you need the same to find the mixers.  I think I said that if more than one spirit is listed that often means a full shot of each.  Straight drinks with mixers, like gin and tonic, often involve the spirit being very liberally poured.  I’m not necessarily saying that this is a bad thing just that you maybe want to watch your drinks being made so you know how much is in them and don’t expect them to be the same as back home.  You may also want to think twice about riding your scooter home after one cocktail.  On second thoughts you should definitely think twice, have three or four more and then ride home, otherwise you’ll be the only one with more blood pumping through your veins than alcohol on the roads.

Finally, don’t drink tap water in Vietnam, Laos, Thailand or Cambodia but as I, somewhat excitedly, found it’s fine in Singapore. ….well it would be right?

Dress

Generally in South-East Asia people dress modestly.  Somewhat oddly this often means that if your shoulders are covered you’re fine, even when sporting shorts so short that you have two sets of cheeks on offer!  Actually this might not have been appropriate in Vietnam which I think was the most conservative of the countries I visited.  Obviously in -any- religious places you need to cover up and trousers/ a long skirt and covered shoulders are necessary.  Quite early on in Vietnam I bought a floaty shirt which I often carried with me as a handy cover-up over any top.

In South East Asia men have a thing where to cool down they roll their shirts up so that they have their t-shirt on their shoulders and their bellies out.  This mostly worked well when they had nice toned bods but was less favourable (to me) when they had a kind of reversed builders bum thing going on.

I would advise at least one pair of cropped trousers/ long shorts or a mid-length skirt.  Arguably I should have taken more short-sleeved tops which covered more of my shoulders.