Zelma’s Trip

After a decidedly dodgy night sleep, due to the others in the dorm deciding that they not only needed the fan on but also needed the door open, I checked out and booked another relocation van.  I was told that I could collect the van from midday so faffed around online for a while and waited for the confirmation email.  The email didn’t arrive but when I called them back they gave me the details and I got a cab to the office where I was due to collect the van from.  When I arrived I was informed that the van wasn’t ready so I spent half an hour waiting around until it appeared.

Eventually I got my van, who became known as Bern.  This was largely due to the fact that Bernie was his predecessor but he was not quite as cool as Bernie.  Firstly he was smaller and not a pop-top so you couldn’t stand up in him.  I took some time learning this fact and managed to crack my head on several occasions in the process.  There was no fridge in Bern, although he did have an ice-box which, in my mind was a somewhat poor man’s alternative.  There was also not an exterior electricity connection which spoilt my fun somewhat.  Although this did arguably mean that you didn’t have to stay at powered sites.  There were interior lights which ran off the battery and I was reliably informed that they would shut off prior to the battery draining completely.  Although Bern was not Bernie he was newer and admittedly had his plus points such as the fact that eveything remained in place without cupboard doors flying open every time you went round a corner, although this somehow seemed a little less fun.  Bern also only had one bed which, although there was no need for the second, it was nice to have two.

When I asked one of the workers at the hire company which way I needed to go to get to Charters Towers he went and got a map.  This was a bad sign and, after he sent me completely the wrong way, I ended up going back through Cairns and heading South to Townsville on the road I had previously taken North with Bernie (the Pacific Touring Way).  I normally don’t mind diversions but it was a little irritating so early on and I also had a kilometre limit this time of 2062 kilometres.  It’s roughly 1700 kilometres from Cairns to Brisbane but I was hoping to take one of the inland roads for a bit of variation.  This meant that I was slightly conscious of my kilometres so Mr Helpful wasn’t really appreciated at this stage.

When I reached Townsville (349 kilometres later) I headed inland onto the A6 or Overlander’s Way to Charters Towers.  I arrived in Charters Towers just before nine at night.  People had asked why I wanted to go to the place stating that it was “Hicksville” but, unperturbed I  decided to visit the quaint old mining town off the beaten track.  I’m not sure what it’s like the rest of the time but it wasn’t this on a Friday night. 

I drove into the town and saw a sign for a backpackers’ place.  I drove up and down the road about ten times but could I find it?  Eventually I went and asked at a petrol station and they promptly sent me back to the same road which I drove up and down about ten more times.  The sights of Charters Towers were plentiful.  When I drove into the town I saw a miner dwarf with a beard nearly as long as he was tall.  There were also numerous people dragging ther jaws along the floor.  When I drove past one motel with a pub attached I considered staying there.  I was about to pull over as I drove passed the beer garden where I saw two girls comparing their wounds and bruises from a brawl.  There were also drunk children who beat the sides of my van every time that I stopped at a junction or slowed down.  People stared at me more than anywhere I have ever been which may have been as I was an “outdsider” or may have been due to the fact that they were confused as to why this strange girl was randomly driving round and round their small town. 

I didn’t want to stay in the town centre as it was full of inbreds.  One motel had no vacancies and having passed it several times it took me some time to find the other motel I had seen.  I eventually found it and pulled in.  Now, it wasn’t late at this point, like before ten I think and yet the place was deserted.  I drove in and found that both reception and the restaurant were closed.  I did a hard sigh and then drove out.  Unfortunately, in my strop, I neglected to notice a rather low roof which I had looked at on the way in and decided to avoid.  I drove under the rather low roof, 2.5m to be precise – the exact same height as the van.  I noticed it as I graunched my aerial against the roof.  I decided to proceed -very- slowly and thankfully it was okay.  I drove around in a strop some more and contemplated going somewhere else but there was nothing anywhere near.  I thought about staying in my van at the side of the road but I was freaking out merely stopping in the deserted countryside to look at my map.  Staying in town was not an option as I had now generated a lot of unwanted attention from bearded midgets and small, drunken children.  So I took the road out of town and fortunately there was a truck-stop a little way out.  It felt like luxury with hot showers, toilets and a twenty four hour diner.  The parking area, where I was informed it was okay to stay in your van, had CCTV so I felt safe enough.  Bern proved easier in the whole bed conversion department than Bernie had previously and there were clean sheets and a full size duvet which pleased me immensely.  I fell asleep to be half woken up by people talking and saying things like, “Who’s in there”, and, “Well, -that- didn’t work”.  I fell back to sleep and was then woken again at around 2AM by a van pulling up next to mine with an Australian guy screaming, “Yay, backpackers, they’re craaaaazy man”, etc etc.  I was vaguely concerned for a moment which quickly turned into being really annoyed.  I was about to yell something back at them when the guy’s friend said, “You know what the good thing about traveling here is?  My Mum knows -everyone-!”.  After his friend inquired what he meant he slowly figured it out, shut up for a moment and started asking boring questions about vans and the like.  I got up, had a cigarette and went back to sleep.  This time not to be disturbed until the next morning.