Zelma’s Trip

Do: Do as the locals do.  For example eating at the places that the locals frequent, crossing the street between the traffic rather than waiting for a space.

Don’t: Take the above too literally.  Coughing and sneezing without covering your mouth and nose respectively is minging in any country I’m sorry.  As is putting your feet up on the table next to my drink and cutting your toenails.  Openly staring at people and picking your nose also need not to be mimicked!  There is also no need to throw your litter on the floor as the Vietnamese do.  On the bus from Vietnam to Laos one woman conscientiously collected up not only her ubbish but that from fellow passengers and carfeully placed it all in a plastic bag.  She then opened the window and casually tossed the bag out.

Do: Try to go off the beaten track to see places where you don’t see other tourists.

Don’t: Be surpriused if when you go to places like this you attract a lot of interest and people take photos of you.
Do: Drink bottled Water.

Don’t: Drink Snake wine.  It’s minging and has lumps of pickled snake in it.

Do: Barter, barter, barter.  Try to get an idea of what things cost as early as possible.  Walking away is always a very good way to get the price to drop quickly.  If they think that you have no other options then the price often stays quite high such as one solitary drink seller up a mountain.

Don’t: Get overly obsessed with bartering.  On occasions I’ve found myself having great debates over prices then realising that I’ve spent ten minutes arguing about around seven pence.  Also be mindful that people start at different levels in different areas i.e. in tourist areas they start higher to the extent that if you go about 5km out of the centre of the Old Quarter in Hanoi the starting price is much lower.  On the flipside of this is my point above about there being no option/ competition, although this can work in your favour as they may be desperate for the custom.  In places like Sa Pa the bartering starts at a lower price.  Although I am a great fan of bartering I like to think I am paying a vagualy fair price.  When you buy a beautiful, silk embroidered bag with dragonflies on it for less than one pound fifty it does leave a bit of a sickly taste in your mouth.

Do: Try out local transport.  The back of a Honda/ xe om is a great way to see the sights, cities and countryside.  Cyclos are also good in the cities for a more laid back view although I always feel a bit guilty about the poor stick-thin Vietnamese guy pedaling away behing me.

Don’t: Get a xe-om when the rider reeks of alcohol.  Okay, I had a cold and didn’t notice until he pulled away and there was a slight breeze.

Don’t: Get a xe-om when the driver looks about eight.  Actually I am still confused about what happened here….I like to think he just had youthful looks.  While we’re on the subject of xe-oms….

Don’t: Get a "kiss".  Basically what has become known as a "Saigon kiss", Nha Trang Kiss"…..etc is when you get of a xe-om and your calf touches the exhaust pipe.  You will see numerous people (both locals and tourists) walking round with obvious scars or wounds where their skin has stuck to the exhaust.  Ouch!