Zelma’s Trip

On the Thursday we got a bus from Byron to Surfers’ and arrived at a beautiful seaside location but in torrential rain.  After stopping at a fish and chip place for a very large portion of chips with cheese and gravy we decided to hail a cab to our hostel.  The place itself was actually quite cool but was a little way out of town.  Having checked in we headed in the opposite direction of the main strip and went and had dinner.

The following day we went to Warner Brothers’ Movie World, a film related theme park.  Fortunately as the school holidays had just finished the place was almost empty and we hardly had to queue for any rides.  The best rides in my opinion were:

Lethal Weapon – A hanging rollercoaster with several loops and a corkscrew.  You seriously needed to fix your head on this one though to avoid the inevitable ear bashing.

Scooby-Doo spoooky coaster – I’m not saying much about this one as I will seriously spoil it but put it this way, it wasn’t what a lot of the people who got on it were expecting.

Superman Escape – A rollercoaster which propels you from 0-100 kmph in just two seconds.  Although it must be said after that the rest of the ride was something of an anti-climax.

There were other fun rides too although I thought that the Batwing Spaceshot (a tower ride which shoots you up rather than dropping you down) was a bit of a let down.

On the Saturday we headed to Wet and Wild, a water ride based amusement park.  The weather had imroved by this point and it was just about warm enough to walk round wet for several hours.  The place was great fun but, rather sadly, I think my favourite bit may have been the super hot jacuzzis.  Actually there were some great flume ride which were a lot of fun.  In the evening we had some goon (cask wine) and accompanied the Irish girls from the room next to ours into town.  We spent the first part of the evening with them in an Irish pub and then headed to a pub/club just off the main strip.  It was a great evening which ended in what felt like a long walk home as there were no taxis available. 

The following day Matt spent a lot of time in bed recovering and I went for a wander into town.  When I came back I played tennis at the hostel, doubles first and then singles with two different people.  I was actually playing for about four hours and realised how much I miss tennis from home.  Having said that my calves didn’t thank me for it for about the next two days.

Having played tennis the day before I decided it a good plan to mess about with a basketball the following day in order to make any parts of my legs which weren’t suffering feel the pain they had missed!  We also went into town and down to the beach.

On Tuesday we headed to the main strip of Surfers’ and went to “Time Zone” an indoor amusement arcade where for the bargain price of $20 USD (about ten quid) you got 12 ticket games and umlimited other arcade games for one hour and then you could do laser skirmish, dodgems and mini golf for another hour.  It was awesome fun but I got a bit miffed in the laser game as my gun didn’t work properly for a while (admittedly initially as I had my hand in the wrong place) and the guy had to come and fix it and reset it twice.  I’m not sure if it was this, feeling hot or my general intolerance but I didn’t have much time for the mini golf afterwards.  Actually, I think the main reason for this was the fact that I had put up with Matt ribbing me all darn day and had finally had enough.  When we got back to the hostel, after another “La Porchetta” we played computer games on Matt’s Mac (really cool SNES emulator ones like “Wheel of Fortune”) and then watched “The Castle”.  “The Castle” is a film centred around the story of a Bogan (think “Chav” in England or “trailer trash” in the U.S.) family and was endearing and hilarious in equal measure.  It sure beat the likes of “Think Tank” which we had watched on his Mac previously!

On the Thursday morning Matt headed off to catch a flight back to Melbourne and I headed to the bus station to go further North.  I booked a combination of accommodation and bus tickets and also a 4×4 self-drive tour of Fraser Island and got a bus headed to Noosa Heads.

On the Saturday we were relatively lazy and chilled out at Will’s house.  In the evening we headed into the Kings’ Cross area of town where Will and Matt had tickets at a club to see Van Shee.  When we got to the club I didn’t have I.D. on me and we had to get a taxi all the way back to Will’s house.  Now it’s not out of the question for me to get I.D’d, infact it happens way more than it should, but it really hadn’t crossed my mind to bring any I.D. out with me.  In Sydney apparently it happens all the time and it was everyone who was getting asked and not just me.  The taxi ride back was somewhat of a pain as there were several road closures for the Catholic youths to do a walk through the city.  The taxi driver was sound though and let us stop off for some liquid refreshment for the journey.  When we eventually got back to the club we had missed Van Shee but Matt and Will didn’t seem all that bothered by the fact, that or they were just being polite so that I didn’t feel so bad.  The DJs were actually pretty decent but the club closed rather early somewhat oddly.  We then went to a couple of other drinking places and partook in table football, pool and the like before heading back at a rather later hour.

The following day we went for a pub lunch and generally gathered our things and selves together in order to leave the next day.  On the Monday we headed to the airport and flew to Byron Bay.  Well when I say Byron Bay the airport is actually about half an hour from Byron by car but it’s the closest airport.  When we got on the plane Matt and I were in the back seats and as it started to go up the runway it sounded less than safe.  It was rattling crazily and also veering from side to side on the runway.  I put the noises down to being sat at the back as I always seem to be sat over the wings.  Two facts didn’t help in me trying to put these fears to rest.  Firstly we didn’t have a window which I know sounds silly but I like to be able to see that there isn’t smoke/ the wings are still there etc in order to dispell my fears.  Secondly when we were waiting to take off I could hear the air hostesses talking and one of them said, “I -really- need to get off this plane”.  Matt rather helpfully started talking about how dodgy the plane sounded and the fact that it sounded like something was falling off of it.  He got me really nervous and then promptly fell asleep for the remainder of the flight.  This was, fortunately, before the Qantas flight where a big chunk of the fuselage did fall off mid-flight.  I’m not sure how Worldwide the news spread but the pictures were insane.  Apparently the passengers heard rattling and this whole plate of the plane ripped off.  They managed to land and everyone was okay but it was still a bit touch and go.  To be honest it’s relatively reassuring that the plane was okay even with that amount of damage.  You always have the impression, well I do, that if the plane suffers a tiny pin prick to its shell then it will plummet to the ground.  There’s also been an emergency landing since then with Qantas as passengers reported strange noises.  Anyway, it was before this happened but, nevertheless it was slightly disconcerting.

Despite the worst flight I have ever had to endure we landed at the airport safe and sound.  We got a bus tranfer to Byron and checked into the Arts Factory hostel.  After table tennis, getting dinner and checking the place out we had an early night.  Unfortunately it appeared that a lot of other people did not and there was a lot of noise.  One of the most irritating noises was a group of lads who decided to turn the male toilets (right next to our room) into a hair salon so there were very loud clipper noises and the like well into the morning.

The following day we moved rooms before walking down to the main beach.  After a huge portion of chips we carried on with the walk and went up to a lookout on the beach from where we were able to see dolphins and whales in the sea which was pretty amazing.  We then carried on passed Wategos Beach and, after going the wrong way for a while, managed to get to Cape Byron lighthouse.  Other than having amazing views over the bays this also meant that we were able to take photos next to a sign reading, “the most Easterly point in Australia”, or something, which was nice. 

That evening we headed back to the hostel and met up with a group of people who were heading into town.  We went with them and Lucy and Emily (from England), Sean (from Australia) myself and Matt and two very drunken English girls whose names I can’t remember went to Cheeky Monkeys.  Well, when I say we went to Cheeky Monkeys the two unnamed English girls were too drunk and headed back.  When we got to the door Sean was having some debate with the doormen and it transpired that, in his drunken wisdom, he had told them that he hadn’t had a drop and was sober as he was the designated driver for the group.  He was then breathalysed and when he was many times over the limit they refused him entry.  Now this was a new one on me and there wasn’t really any argument or going back on it.  So, we headed to a local pub which was quite nice and when Lucy and Emily headed to Cheeky Monkeys Sean, Matt and I headed back to the hostel for a few more drinks.

The following day we relaxed at the hostel, booked tickets to head further North and watched the new Indiana Jones film at the cinema.  This wouldn’t normally be my first choice of film, it being in the action genre and all, but Matt wanted to watch it so I obliged.  To be honest I am not the best person to critique such a film but I thought it was pants and far-fetched in the extreme.  After cooking dinner we had a relatively early night in order to check out and catch our bus the following morning.

With a horrendous hangover from the previous night’s frivolities I took to the city with Matt.  We went to Bondi beach on the train and it was clear why it had a reputation for being a great place to surf and generally hang out.  The beach was stunning and it just seemed awesome that you could have such a great beach in a huge city. 

After Bondi beach we went to Sydney harbour where we got a boat from the harbour to Manly beach.  I really liked Manly beach as a name and hoped to see lots of buff types talking in gruff voices saying things like, “Yorkie, it’s not for girls”,  – I didn’t of course.  Actually it was at manly beach that there was a group of the skinniest, campest guys who stripped down to their speedo style pants before running into the sea.  It wasn’t really sea swimming weather in my mind but it was pleasantly warm.  The boat ride to Manly was great and the views of the harbour and Sydney Opera house were awesome.  The Opera house was actually much smaller than I thought it would be but it was perfectly formed.

In the evening we met one of Matt’s friends (Will) who had moved from Melbourne to Sydney and went to stay at his house in an outer suburb of Sydney.

In the morning I sorted myself out and packed my things.  Iris made me a lovely lunch before Carol arrived to drive me to the airport.  The Goodbyes at the airport were really sad and I wanted to take everyone with me in my suitcase.  I had not managed to get hold of the person I was meeting in Sydney and checked my emails at the airport.  Thankfully Matt appeared to be super organised for once and had not only emailed me saying that he was arriving in Sydney the following day but had also booked a place for me for the first night.

Although the flight was slightly delayed, only by about fifteen minutes or so, it otherwise passed without incident and I landed safely in Sydney.  As soon as I got out of the plane I was very aware of the fact that World Youth was happening with young Catholics everywhere.  I managed to battle passed the rowdy Catholics in their matching World Youth Day backpacks and got a train to the Kings’ Cross part of the city where I was staying.  Having checked into D*lux hostel, which wasn’t too deluxe but turned out to be bustling and fun, I went and called Matt.  Having successfully managed to wake him up before his early flight I headed to my room and had an early night.

The next day Matt checked the room I had told him I was in at the hostel and apparently looked at a lot of girls’ heads in beds, none of which were mine.  It was actually a mistake by the hostel and not me for once with the mix up of room numbers.  When I got up I went down to reception and found Matt.  We pottered around for the day, got some lunch and had a few beers on the roof-top terrace.  In the evening there was a poker night which I got bored with quickly before going all in on the most ridiculous hand.  We spent the night at the hostel drinking and talking to other residents as well as playing the obligatory whist and other games.

In the morning I set out in my trusty red Hyundai and headed out into the countryside.  My first stop was a lake where you could see Stromatolites, allegedly kind of living rock formations which lived in the lake.  When I arrived there was an older couple I met who asked me what I thought they looked like and said that they had seen some foam which they thought may have been indicative of them.  Unperturbed I set about walking around the perimeter of the lake.  I saw some scummy foam and managed to film a couple of moany videos whilst giving myself swampy hair in the wind.  Although there were no Stromatolites in sight the lake was beautiful and the views around the surrounding nothingness of the bush were pretty amazing.  I got back to my car, past a few rowdy builder types who were apparently repairing a path and headed off.  I then visited the pinnacles desert which is a uniwue geological formation within Namburg National Park.  There were thousands of limestone pillars dotted everywhere.  To my delight there was a sand track around the entire area and you could zip between pinnacles in your car and get out at various points to take photos.  It was a truly amazing sight and there were photo opportunities everywhere, even to the extent where I got a great shot of my car nestled between two pinnacles.

When I left the pinnacles desert I headed to hangover bay (notably without the suggested hangover) and sat for a while on the beach appreciating the miles of coastline and clear blue see.  I then headed to a lookout point which I think may have been preceeded in name by an Australian animal, kangaroo point, koala look-out, duck-billed platypus point….okay so now I’m just being silly.  Anyway, I got up this hill and had the most amazing view of, well I guess the best way to describe it would be everything and nothing.  As far as the eye could see there was just bush, one road and nothing else in sight.  It was breath-taking.  I stopped off at a couple of other places, including a few I didn’t really mean to.  Well actually I did mean to, as in I took turnings for exciting sounding places along the lines of owl heights (or something) only to find they ended near bins with a couple of picnic benches.  The majority of look-out places and beaches were truly stunning though.  When I got back to the hostel a group had arrived and they conveniently had too much vegetarian lasagne which they kindly offered me.  I sat watching television, wrote a few postcards and headed to bed. 

The following day I headed back towards Perth and stopped at the Armadale centre to get a few bits of shopping and a couple of presents to thank Iris and Jim for their hospitality and also Mike and Carol.  Actually I’d like to thank them here in case they read my blog.  Iris was amazing and gave me the warmest welcome I could have asked for as well as seriously great food and Jim was brilliant, funny and friendly.  Carol and Mike were also lovely in welcoming me into their home and Carol was a chauffeur extraodinaire. 

After getting my shopping in Armadale I somewhow managed to get lost on the way back to Iris’ house.  This was something of a feat, even for me, given the pathetic distance between the two.  I did eventually get back though and, after dropping the car off, had another lovely relaxed evening with Iris and Jim.  Tuesday nights were especially good as this is when a show called, “Wipeout” is aired.  We had watched this the previous week inadvertently and got really into it.  Basically if you think of the Japanese type game shows with comedy, almost impossible obstacles, and lots of weirdly willing contestants and then add Americans into the mix you won’t go far wrong.

After my fry-up I drove back to Iris and Jim’s to pick up a few bits for my trip.  The car I had hired was a red Hyundai something which felt amazingly underpowered in comparison to my MR2 but I wasn’t really overly surprised by this to be fair.

Having collected a few bits I set off and was really enjoying listening to the radio and driving after what felt like a long absence from doing so.  Somewhat miraculously I managed to follow the directions that Mike and Carol gave me and got round Perth and all the way up to the highway I needed which would take me all the way to the turning for Crevantes.

The roads were insane and were -so- long and straight with nothing for mile upon mile other than these clouds of flies, huge ones, and you wondered what to do, realised you couldn’t do anything and then they all splatted against your windscreen.  Weirdly most of them make clear splats though, like they have some kind of see-through blood or something.  I was later advised that they might have been bees and this was their honey or nectar or something which, I must say, didn’t make me feel any better about my insect massacre. 

When I left Perth I was told to, “Watch out for roos”, and I did see one dead at the side of the road.  To be honest if a roo hit my car, or vice versa, I think it would have come off best!  If I did a long drive through Australia by myself I think I’d go insane.  I spent a lot of time singing along to old CDs that Carol had leant me and then laughing at my own jokes.  It was beautiful though, the scenery not my singing and laughing!

So there I was, driving along a -very- long, straight road, singing along to Chris de Burgh (you can’t beat a bit of “Lady in red)” when there was a loud bang and my car decided it had a mind of it own and that it wanted to veer all over the road.  This happened just as some guy was thinking about overtaking me but he quickly decided against the idea.  I managed to pull over and was extremely impressed that I had managed to have a blow out by myself in the middle of nowehre.  Well to me it was the middle of nowhere, there was just bush on every side and a -very- long, straight road with no-one on it other than me.  I got out and looked at the rear driver side tyre which was fine as were the two on the other side.  I was slightly puzzled for a moment before I realised I had not checked the drivers’ side front wheel.  It was very clear that this had made the rather large bang.  I then decided to do the thing any logical person would do i.e. swear, get back into the car, have a cigarette and take photos of myself looking unimpressed whilst figuring out a plan!

 I located the spare tyre but couldn’t for the life of me get the jack out and managed to cut both my
 thumbs doing so.  Not badly at all but it was a bit annoying.  After faffing for some time to no
 avail I decided the best plan was to smoke another cigarette and do pathetic looking stares at all
 the passers by in the hope that one of them would take pity on me. Well when I say all the passers-by
 it was hardly like rush hour in England but there was the odd van full of sheep.  After only half a
 cigarette a guy in a truck pulled up and reversed back towards me.  I went over and explained the
 problem.  He managed to get the jack out in about 10 seconds and then set about changing the wheel.
 He did however say one of the nuts appeared to be awfully tight.  He said he thought it may have
 been put on far too tightly or cross threaded and sure enough it snapped.  He put the spare on, which
 looked slightly dodgy compared to the brand new tyre he had taken off, and put three of the four
 nuts back in.  Half way through this process a woman in a blue car pulled up behind us.  I thought
 this slightly unecessary and then realised she might not have seen him helping me.  As she got out of
 the car she said, “I thought it was you, typical, helping out some young sheila!” and it transpired
 that the guy was her husband and she had wondered where he had got to!  Anyway my wheel was on,
 albeit with three nuts, and they suggested, as it was a Sunday, that I drive to Crevantes
and get it looked at the following day.  I thanked them and then called the hire company who didn’t seem to think there was any problem with driving it around on three wheel nuts, as long as they were on
 tightly.  So that is what I did.

When I arrived at Crevantes Lodge I was pleasantly surprised with the place.  They have a website and, if anyone is thinking of venturing to Crevantes, I would strongly recommend them.  I was in a dorm but was the only person in there so it was like having my own private room, well for the first night at least, and the communal areas were great.  I sorted myself out and went and got some food prior to heading down to the beach to watch the sunset.

On the Wednesday Carol and Iris drove me into Perth to have a look around the city.  We went to Kings’ Park which is a huge park on a hill overlooking the city.  The views were amazing down over the cityscape and the lakes/ rivers of the city.  There was also some really interesting plants and I found the boab trees in particular really funny.  A boab is a kind of bulbous looking almost tuber like tree and, to me, they looked really bizarre.  We walked around the park and then had lunch at the cafe prior to seeing a little more of Perth and the surrounding area.

The following day I went to Perth aquarium with Iris and Carol.  I was tempted to go to the aquarium in Singapore but an Australian couple had advised me to wait until I got to Perth and I was glad that I did.  The place was divided into sections of Australia and the respective marine life in each.  The most spectacular display was a moving walkway which took you round underneath a huge tank full of fish, sharks, turtles and huge rays.  The seals were also brilliant and one of them was very inquisitive almost playing with onlookers at the glass.  There was a touch pool and I stroked a dogfish as well as picking up a starfish who didn’t seem to mind the attention.

On the Friday Carol was again a star and drove Iris and I to Freemantle, known to locals as Free-O.  Freemantle was a very cool place with a lovely market selling all kinds of wares and was full of great streets with old architecture and shops.  It reminded me very much of Woodbridge in Suffolk at home in parts as it had a similar quaint, old feel about it.  We browsed through the market and bought some food for dinner before driving back along the coast.  The coastline was amazing with views of beaches stretching as far as the eye could see.

On Saturday I had a bit of a lie in and went to pick-up my car that I had arranged to hire for a bit of a jolly North.  I spent the night at Carol and Mike’s house rather than Iris and Jim’s.  Carol took me to her daughter’s house where I also saw her horses and the general set-up of the place.  In the evening Carol’s daughter and husband came over and her grand daughter was also there for dinner.  The following morning Carol and Mike cooked the most amazing fry-up on the barbeque which was another very welcome feed reminding me of England.  Iris had previously also cooked me the best fish and chips and had also fed me my first ever shark which was out of this World. 

When I landed at Perth aiprort I got my bag then headed out to customs.  As I put my hand luggage through the magic x-ray machine they asked what I had in my bag which looked like a tube.  I started taking things out of it and suggested that the item in question might be a packet of sweets.  They didn’t seem to think so and, after I had offered several tube shaped options, they asked that I put my bag back through.  Somewhat reassuringly they said that it didn’t show up the second time and sent me on my way wondering firstly how good their x-ray machines were and secondly what they had nicked from my bag!

When I emerged out the other side of the airport I saw two ladies, one of whom was holding a sign which read, “Zelma”.  I headed to them and found Aunty Iris and her friend Carol who had accompanied her.  Carol’s husband Mike was also there.  I had a cigarette outside the airport and then, partly due to having flown in from Singapore, wondered what the “butt etiquette was.  I asked and Mike said:

“Yes you can put it out on the floor as long as you pick it up.”

I thought this slightly strange as numerous other people had clearly failed to adhere to the second part of this rule but obliged only to be told that he was, infact, joking. 

As we drove to Mundjong, where Iris lives, there was a field on the left hand side of the road with loads of kangaroos in.  Mike pulled over and I have to admit that I was really excited to see them.  The thing which struck me on the way out of Perth into the countryside was the vastness of the country and how far you could see without seeing anything in particular other than the occasional bush or tree.

When we arrived at Iris’ house I met her husband Jim who turned out to be a real character.  The house was lovely and really homely which was so welcome after a lot of time in slightly anonymous hostels.  The garden was beautiful with stunning plants and I was so excited to see cockatoos and various other beautifully coloured birds landing in the garden.

1.  Myself

Seriously I had such an amazing time I would recommend anyone and everyone goes to the countries I visited.  At the moment it’s so cheap and easy to do.  There is also a huge amount of change happening and you get the impression, especially with countries like Laos, that they are not going to remain the same and retain the same charm for all that much longer.

2.  Hair Straightners.

Okay so I have a small, light bag but I am glad to have had them.  They were one of the few luxuries which made me feel good/ normal.  Besides, I wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun with self-portrait photos without them.

3.  Mobile Phone.

Okay so Olly persuaded me to buy this in Vietnam so technically I didn’t take it with me but I am being smug and taking the credit for having it anyway!  Local calls in South East Asia cost practically nothing and international calls from mobiles are also surprisingly cheap.  I just bought SIM cards in each country and then topped my phone up as I needed, which really wasn’t very often.

4.  I-pod.

Completely invaluable in so many instances.  Although even my beautiful I-pod was not able to contend with the Thai karaoke it did block out a lot and also added to many situations.

5.  Sleeping bag liner.

I didn’t bring a sleeping bag but brought a liner.  It proved useful firstly when I wasn’t entirely sure about the cleanliness of some of the beds I was staying in and secondly when the places you stayed at insisted on providing you with a mammoth duvet when it was 30 degrees plus.

6.  A small bag.

Everyone I spoke to told me to pack light and I was -so- glad that I did.  You see these people with the back-pack equivalent of Big Ben on their shoulders and wonder what on Earth they are carrying and, almost more importantly, why?  Traveling light seriously is the best plan.

7.  Travel towel.

Does what it says on the tin…small to pack and dries you and itself very quickly.  Unfortunately my travel towel case is somewhere on a balcony in Ko Pha Ngan….I think.

8.  Tampons (Although I should have taken more).

Yes I know but you need to know.  Tampons are almost impossible to buy in many parts of South-East Asia.  In Vietnam I was on something of a mission but, even in Hanoi, could only buy panty-liners.  I did find some in Bangkok and you -may- get them elsewhere but don’t rely on the fact.  When you buy them they’re also not cheap but what’s new there?

This title may actually be something of a misnomer as there may be other translations below which are not from Thailand.  I thought I was really clever when I came up with the “Thinglish” description and rather less so when I later found out that Singlish (from Singapore) is practically a recognised language.  The following are quoted as written and any apparent mistakes be them grammatical, spelling or punctuation are not mine….for once.

A sign on a toilet door in Phuket airport:

“On the mend”.

A sign on a tour company in Bangkok:

“We are never close”.

Here’s thinking that the omission of that D didn’t really encapsulate their point.

As you may know by now I have developed a bit of a thing for comedy slogan t-shirts and the following being sported by a man on a train in Patthalung was no exception:

“Whoever invented work, didn’t know how to fish.”

One of the standard signs you would see in Thailand was a fixed sign which read, “accident ahead”.  Now, although by no means inconceivable given Thailand’s roads and drivers, I don’t think that such signs were alerting you to continuous accidents but rather slightly tricky stretches of road.  As always though the Thinglish was rather nice.

A tour company leaflet for boat trips to Koh Tao and Koh Nangyuan had rather nice descriptions of the days out they offered:

“Koh Nangyuan:

Koh Nangyuan is Said to be one of the world’s most beautiful  islands.  If you look in map Koh Nangyuan is a tiny island gattached to Koh Tao like a tail of  tortoise.

As seen in the picture, Koh Nangyuan consists of a large  mountain  and  two  smaller  ones , it is this spectacular view that known to  the world.

Koh Tao:

Koh Tao is an  island  with the most  beautiful shallow – water coral reef in the Gulf of  Thailand.  With  the shape concaved like mung bean that makes bays and beaches all over.The bay  lines serves as shelter against

Koh Tao  is the heaven for both skin and scuba divers, with beautiful landscape , popular among local and overseas tourists.”

Now with all that on offer there is just one choice you need to make which is listed on the itinery on the back of the leaflet:

“Morning Meel / Life Breckfast”.

The odd thing about this leaflet is that, if you didn’t read it, it appeared to be very professionally done.

To finish is perhaps my favourite t-shirt thus far, this time from Southern Malaysia:

“Don’t cry because it is over smile because it happened.”