Zelma’s Trip

Ahipara in Northland sits on the Southern end of ninety mile beach, so named by the Kiwis as it’s short of ninety kilometres in length!  When we got up we decided to head down to the beach, which actually is quite long, and pretty soon after getting out of the car I was aware of, yet another, disgusting smell.  It soon became clear what the smell was when we saw a rather large lump which was a dead seal!  Partly due to this and partly due to the crazy wind, we didn’t spend too long on the beach.

One of the activities available in Ahipara, and other places on North island, is sand tobogganing.  The woman where we hired the boards from informed us that the dunes were around a forty minute walk from the car park on the beach and we headed off.  For some reason, despite having heard the directions initially from the woman and me repeating them, Lance decided that it was a good plan to head in completely the oppposite direction onto privately owned Maori land.  After the slight detour we got to the car park and set off with our toboggans in search of the sand dunes.  The walk along the coast and headland was pretty amazing with beautiful views out to sea.  There were lots of people surfing around the headland and people advised us that we should head to the second dune which was apparently much better.  The walk was a bit longer than forty minutes but in all fairness we were walking into a strong head wind (that was always my excuse in the hundred metres too but the darn school never had a gauge!).  When we arrived at the second dune it was positively huge.  It was a mission to climb as you took one step forwards and then felt like you slid the equivalent of around five backwards.  The wind didn’t really help either.  Eventually we got to the top and I put my board down and headed off first.  Within a few seconds I was going crazily fast and wondered whether I should attempt to do anything to slow myself down.  I figured out that at some point I would need to turn slightly to avoid flying off into vegetation below and decided that I would put a foot out.  As I did this there was a kind of sand wave throwing a huge amount of sand into my face and eyes.  I then, in my wisdom, decided the only thing for it was to stick my other foot out which resulted in my toboggan changing direction prior to kind of flipping over and chucking me onto the sand.  I managed to half wind myself, crack my neck (I’m not sure if it was my fist or the toboggan which got it), and cake every millimetre of myself in sand.  Lance stopped and as I gathered myself and my bag together my cigarettes decided that they also wanted a go at sand tobogganing and sped off rather quickly down the dune!  We carried on and, despite having just stacked it in rather spectacular fashion, I managed to come a cropper on more than one other occasion, albeit not at such break neck speed as the first occurence.  The one sad thing about the sand tobboganing was that it claimed a more worrying victim than me…..my camera!! 

After eating lots of sand we walked back to the car.  It was the first day of proper sunshine since I had arrived on North island, that is until we got back to the car when the heavens decided to open.  Once back at the campsite I made a vain attempt to rid myself of sand by showering, prior to eating and calling it a night.

The first stop of the day was “Sheepworld” which I had read about as being a “sheep themed amusement park”.  Although there wasn’t a wild sheep rollercoaster or bumper sheep the place didn’t disappoint.  We had a brief look around prior to the “sheep show” which started at 11AM.  The show started with a sheep dog demonstration with an eye dog bringing sheep in from the end of the field and then a big noisy dog barked at them to make them move into a gated area.  The initial dog seemed to disappear for some time but was eventually quite good whereas the noisy dog (I don’t think it was technically called that but it should have been) seemed to be slightly more random.  After the sheepdog demonstration we headed back inside and I was somehow roped into drafting.  Drafting is basically sorting the sheep out into types as they rush through wooden gates.  The sheep in question had pink, blue or no colour on their heads and I had to move the gate so that they ended up in different pens.  It was all going really well until I clonked one and then got all paranoid about hurting the sheep.  Evidently I didn’t need to be as the guy said that they had very hard heads and small brains.  I don’t think he should have made so much of this though as the guy who followed after me was seriously brutal to the extent that I was wincing as the wood smacked against the sheep.  They said that I did a good job but I think they were just being kind to be fair.  After they had seen how great Poms are at drafting the guy did a shearing demonstration and then lambs came flooding in for the small children to feed.  I must admit that I was slightly envious at this stage but I did get to feed a cute calf so it wasn’t all bad.  Following the show we headed out to the area where you could feed the animals.  Although I explained the warning signs to Lance he somehow managed to taunt an alpaca until it spat in his face.  Actually that may be slightly unfair as the two alpacas in question were seriously evil looking.  Although in fairness this is what made me move out of the way quite quickly and explain the warning signs to Lance initially.  After the alpaca spit incident we fed some other less feral animals including a very sweet, if slightly tatty, deer.  There was a nice walk through the forest and a playground which was fun.  The place was great actually and I would highly recommend it – just steer clear of the evil looking black alpaca!

We drove North from Warkworth and headed to the Kauri museum.  Kauris are large trees native to New Zealand and used to be one of the main timber sources in the country.  The museum also had the World’s largest gum display.  I’m not talking about Wrigleys here but tree sap which has been fossilised and hardened, a bit like amber.  The museum was fascinating, a bit too much so actually as we suffered a bit from information overload.  It was also much bigger than we expected initially.  In one of the largest rooms they had all the old tools including the saws that were used to cut the huge trees.  For some reason, unbeknown to me, as I was leaning into the machinery to take one of my funky industrial style black and white photographs Lance pressed a demonstration button which started a saw in motion dangerously close to my head!  Maybe he was finally sick of listening to my “hour of Golden yodels” C.D. which I had overplayed in his car since buying it for my father!

We left the museum but continued the Kauri theme by heading to the largest living specimen in the World, “Tane Mahuta”.  The tree was pretty awesome, more so because of its girth than it’s height.  I’m not sure I should have used girth there, perhaps diameter may have been more appropriate, or maybe it’s okay if you don’t have as rude minds as I do.  Anyway, it was very impressive.

Having seen sheep, been spat at by alpacas, seen dead trees, nearly been decapitated and seen a very wide, alive tree we finally arrived in Ahipara (in Northland) where we checked into a holiday park. 

Having missed the geyser’s eruption the previous day we headed to a different geyser.  This one had several other attractions with it and we decided it was too expensive and headed off.  The weather was absolutely terrible with almost monsoon like rain.  When we arrived at Waitomo caves there was little improvement and the activities that I wanted to do in the caves had been cancelled due to the high water levels.

We carried on and stopped at “the Kiwi house” in Otorohanga.  The place helpfully had free umbrellas which you could take around with you but fortunately the rain had subsided slightly by this point.  For those who are not aware Kiwis are nocturnal animals so they were inside in a kind of fake nocturnal environment.  There was only one Kiwi about but it was very entertaining as it raced up and down.  It wasn’t like an animal going crazy with boredom in captivity, like many bears I have seen, but more like a bird possessed and boy could it move quickly.  After laughing at the kiwi we headed around the park where there were numerous other birds and waterfowl.  There were also some rather cool geckos which pleased me enormously.

We carried on up towards Wellsford through more stinking weather and even more stinking traffic in Auckland.  Eventually we arrived in Wellsford and checked into a motel as it was getting late and nothing else was open.  Fortunately the place was really nice and they had a super cute labradoodle puppy.

We woke up to crazy monsoon-like rain and carried on towards Taupo.  In Taupo itself we went around the town and also a traveling fair.  I mean traveling fair here in the sense of stalls selling various things and not rollercoasters and big wheels.  Although they did have a stand where you could attempt to shoot ridiculously weighted tin cans with a very badly aimed rifle and pony rides.  It was pleasant enough and I bought an awesome gecko ring.

After the fair and the town we carried on to Golden Springs, a very small place where I had found an interesting looking holiday park in the book previously.  The place was pretty cool and we asked at reception if the flying fox would take our weight or whether it was just for children.  When we were told it would we headed down there.  What I failed to do was move my hand at the end and as I got to the end of the zip-line I managed to crush my thumb imbetween two tyres, which was nice.  The park also had natural geothermal springs so we took a dip in one.  It was amazing to be outside in a natural pool in a river which was as hot as a bath!  There was also one pool you could go in which was called the “bubble pool” for obvious reasons, like a kind of natural jacuzzi.  Apparently some pesky kids had destroyed the steps they had made for that one though…..oooh, if it wasn’t for those pesky kids!

In the evening we headed into Rotorua as I had read about a traveling fair being there, this time the rollercoaster and big wheel type.  When we got to the town I almost asked Lance to turn back.  Now I think I have commented on my sensitive sense of smell previously and this place was -not- good for it.  Like much of the surrounding country Rotorua has a high concentration of geothermal activity.  However, unllike much of the surrounding country, it absolutely stank of rotten eggs from the sulphur.  I’m sure a lot of you have smelled Sulphur and think you can imagine it but I can assure you what you are imagining is not nearly as bad as the actual smell.  It was like the worst kind of eggy fart you’ve ever smelled.  Anyway, with me holding my nose we drove to the village green where the fair was meant to be. Although the fair was evident it had shut prematurely so we headed back to the holiday camp.

The next day we headed to Huka falls which initially didn’t look all that impressive.  However as you turned the corner you saw the sheer volume of water going through the gorge.  It was amazing seeing how powerful the water was pushing through the channel and then tumbling down to aqua marine waters.  A large amount of New Zealand’s power is generated from hydroelectricity and seeing the power of Huka falls you could see why.

After Huka falls we went to a place called “Craters of the Moon”.  The name wasn’t too deceptive with huge craters dotted along the walk which had fissures in them with steam outlets pumping out huge amounts of steam due to the geothermal activity below.  The walk around the place was amazing and the place did feel very unearthly but it was both beautiful and fascinating at the same time.

After buying my obligatory badge (I’m collecting fabric badges to do something with when I get home – probably shove in a drawer) we headed to Orekay Korekay.  That so isn’t the right spelling by the way, that’s phonetic and I’ll sort it out when I next grab my guidebook or something.  On the way we stopped at “Puzzle World”, got lunch and played with various wooden puzzles on the table.  Lance was a doofus when I was trying to concentrate insisting that he could do the puzzle etc etc.  I decided a cigarette was a good plan at this point and left him to (not) complete the said puzzle!  Anyway, when we got to Orekay Korekay it was torrential rain as it pretty much had been since I arrived back in North island.  I was a bit non-plussed at the thought of a boat trip and then a hike in the rain so we headed off.

We went to another place that tourists visit to try to see a geyser but we were informed that it was not erupting until the following morning so headed back to the holiday camp.  Later in the evening we headed to Taupo and I used the internet whilst Lance had a few drinks in a nearby bar.  After a gin and tonic we headed to Reparoa to a country pub which turned out to be closed.  We headed back to our holiday camp and had an earlynight.

So we left Moetueka and headed for Picton to get the Interislander ferry back to North Island.  We went to a beach near the town which was very windy.  There were a couple of ducks hanging around the car and I decided that they would appreciate the slightly skanky bread which was kicking around in the back of the car.  They did but the female duck was a complete bitch and to say that her male mate was henpecked (or duckpecked I guess) would have been one of the grossest understatements this century. 

After some light refreshments we carried on to Picton.  When we got to the ferry terminal we were informed that the next available sailing was at 7pm so headed down to the quayside to pass the time.  There were more ducks but they weren’tas brave as the previous ones and pretty much waddled away as soon as we arrived, much to my disappointment it has to be said!  Prior to heading to the ferry we went to get some fish and chips. I asked the lady if they did fishcakes and she erupted in laughter before calling to her husband and saying, “The girl just asked if we do fishcakes!”.  I wondered what was going on and if I had asked for something not recognised in New Zealand, thinking maybe the woman thought I wanted her to make a proper cake out of fish or something.  After a moment of confusion and paranoia at my lack of island awareness she explained that they had never done fishcakes but had had a discussion about it andshe was about to make some to sell the following day.  It wasn’t early enough for me but the fritter and chips was excellent.

The ferry crossing itself was long and boring.  I ended up buying a crossword book and then got annoyed at the stupid American clues and spellings.  Eventually we arrived in Wellington and headed North. Despite my pointing out the time, and a viable accommodation option Lance decided to soldier on and we ended up sleeping in the car near Levin.

After one night in Hanmer we got up for breakfast.  Actually, I’m not sure I would have done but Lance managed to inform me that it was an hour earlier than it actually was when he got back from breakfast.  When I got to the lounge I was confused that people kept arriving when breakfast should have been about to finish and then I realised I had been conned!  He claimed it was an innocent mistake but I have my doubts ;o)

We headed towards Moetuaka, I’m not entirely sure why actually.  It was half in the right direction in terms of getting the ferry and I think Lance had heard good things about it.  From a drunk yokel in a pub…..probably!  Anyway, we arrived and checked into a very pleasant backpackers’ where we got our washing done for free as the washing machine was broken.  I know that probably seems a dull thing to mention but you really don’t appreciate the excitement of having all clean clothes until you’re traveling.  When I get my clean clothes back it’s like someone’s given me the best present in the World.  Okay enough of this….

So, we checked in, washed our clothes and were having a couple of drinks on the veranda where we met two Scots.  We headed into town to get some cigarettes and the Scots joined us in a slightly odd Sports bar in the town where we had a few more drinks prior to heading back to the Backpackers’.

On the Thursday we got up and headed towards Hanmer, one of the sites in New Zealand with natural goethermic springs.  I was feeling slightly miserable as I was still thinking about the incident in Wanaka, the subsequent phone call and I also discovered a weird lump in my mouth.  I’m pretty sure that this was stress related but it made me feel even more glum.

En route to Hanmer we stopped at "the best bloody gift shop for miles" and to be fair it was pretty amazing.  It was a serious grotto with wares hanging from the ceilings, on the floor and adorning the walls.  There was also an awesome cafe on site where we had the most amazing lunch.  We carried on and stopped at the "boulder rocks" which were spherical rocks by the sea.  They were very strange actually, almost perfect spheres just sat on the sand.

As we carried on our way we stopped at "Warehouse" to buy cheap C.D.s.  As Lance pulled out of a turning I asked if the Police car behind was for us and it turned out it was.  Rather nicely he then received a $150 fine for not stopping at a stop light.  He was going crazily slowly but technically didn’t actually stop.  Personally I think he may have been let off his fine if he hadn’t have given the explanation of, "I wasn’t paying attention"!

When we arrived in Hanmer we checked into a rather nice motel, well as I said I was feeling sorry for myself, and then headed out into town.  The town was quite small and there only appeared to be one bar open.  We chatted to a couple of locals who turned out to be, well weird to be honest, who seemed to like doing very bad English accents to me as well as citing every English stereotype they knew.

The Otago peninsular is famous for its wildlife, notably yellow-eyed penguins and albatrosses.  We drove out there and stopped at an albatross breeding grounds.  Unfortunately  they all appeared to have already bred, or were working up to it and hence weren’t in the area.  There were, however hundreds of gulls and also a large group of shags.  A Japanese girl came over, pointed to the shags and said, "Pingu?", to me.  I informed her that they weren’t infact penguins but didn’t have the heart to tell her what they were, lest she misunderstood, and instead decided to point to a sign next to me.  When we were at this area the wind was insane, like it nearly took the car door off when I opened it, so we didn’t spend too long admiring the shags.  Oh, there are sooo many opportunities for dodgy puns here but I’ll ignore them!

After the shags (or maybe I won’t) we carried on driving around the coast through some quite amazing scenery.  We stopped in a lovely little town/ village for lunch and I had a great seafood chowder.  After lunch we headed to Larnarch castle.  For some reason we struggled to find the entrance to the castle itself (yes it was a large door) but we did eventually and headed in.  The inside of the castle was interesting but I thought the paintings were a bit shabby.  In one room, which you entered through ominous double curtains, there were old wedding dresses, hairbrushes and the like.  There was also a rather eerie character suspended from the ceiling on wires which was somewhat odd.  In the bathroom the toilet seat had been nailed shut and we both discussed who would really walk into a period castle and think it appropriate to use the ancient toilet.  After looking inside the castle we headed out into the manicured gardens.  We decided to do the woodland walk and, having asked Lance if he had farted, realised that we were next to the not so ancient sewerage system.  Having been next to the excrement, seen some cute ducklings and more lovely gardens, we headed back across the peninsular to town.

Back in town we went to Burger King.  Rather reassuringly Burger King is called Burger King in New Zealand and not Hungry Jacks as in Australia.  Having asked for a veggie burger which was not on the menu and some mayonnaise which apparently they’re not meant to serve you I asked to see which toys they had.  A young guy, who clearly either thought I was a complete moron or wanted to go home, then came over, slammed them all on the desk several times and then said, "Can you put toy through the till?  This woman wants to BUY one!".

On the Tuesday we checked out of the motel and headed towards Dunedin.  The roads were amazing cutting in and out of the mountains.  I say this as the passenger of course and may have looked upon them slightly less favourably had I been driving.  This area (Central Otago) is known as fruit country and there were numerous orchards with roadside shops attached.  We stopped at one and picked up two bags of apples.  I forget what the first was but the second was a bag of Braeburns (my Dad’s favourite) and they were fresh and exquisite.

When we arrived in Dunedin we went into the town and had a look around.  Lance then drove round in circles for a while.  Actually that’s a bit unfair, the central area has an octogan of roads around it so I guess I should be accurate and say he drove in octogans!  I was technically navigating but the map he had was made in about 1874 and I would, for example, direct him down a road which had now been converted into a dead end rather than a through road.  Eventually we found the holiday park which we had been looking for and checked in.

The holiday park said it was next to the beach and it was.  Well, it was if you took a trek through a golf course and up and down several hills.  Unfortunately the beautiful beach was slightly marred by Paul calling me.  This meant that I had to contact the Police as it was a breach of his bail conditions.

So, after the previous night’s ordeal we arrived in Glenorchy at a silly time in the morning and slept in the car.  When it was a reasonable hour, seven or so, we checked into a motel and slept.  We woke up at around lunch time and explored the tiny town, had a gorgeous pub lunch and then headed back to the motel where we shared a bottle of wine.

The following day was very chilled as I was seriously in the need for recovery.  I slept, felt sorry for myself and then headed into town and went round the possum fur shop.  Possums are a pest here but the locals still seem to like making anything they can out of their pelts.  There were some lovely hats and jackets and some slightly less lovely nipple and belly button warmers!  We also headed down to the jetty which looked over the lake, although it was slightly windy so we didn’t stay there for too long.